THE TEN REPLACEMENTS
By Dr. Ken Matto
Since we are no longer allowed to publish the ten commandments or put them in school, I would like to offer the following ten replacements so our children will at least know that what they are being taught in public school is right on target.
1. Thou shalt create gods in man's image to confirm the deity of man and the evolution of intelligence. God's may be created according to self-revelation.
2..Thou shalt make unto thyself images and symbols of your beliefs. If it is a cow, or a rock star, or a pentagram that is fine. All things are relative in the evolution of the species of hominids.
3. Thou may take the name of God and Jesus in vain since Jesus was not God (even some Christian Theologians say he wasn't) and God is anything you care to make him or her.
4. Thou may profane the Sabbath Day because you get double time on Sunday and your family need not be in church since it is full of hypocrites and isn't making money the important thing?
5. Dishonor thy father and mother because they are only good to bail you out of jail or put a roof over your head. Too bad they don't possess the wisdom and knowledge of the years like you do, being a 13 year old.
6. Thou shalt kill since you are only acting on pent up rage because your father disciplined you when you were 5.
7. Thou shalt commit adultery, after all, we have a free thinking and open society and since your faith is in science, they will soon come up with a cure for AIDS or Herpes Simplex 2.
8. Thou shalt steal, isn't everybody doing it? When you get out into the workplace you can steal time, pencils, pens, product, and anything else you deserve. After all, didn't you have a deprived childhood because daddy and mommy didn't buy you $90 attitude pants with the crotch down to your knees.
9. Thou shalt bear false witness, it ain't really false witness it is just looking out for No. 1. If a good lie at the right time saves your hide, why not?
10. Always covet your neighbor's things because if you out do them, your self-esteem will skyrocket and you will finally be someone. Your pride is the most important thing.