Confronting Other Christians
By Dr. Ken
Matto
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the
countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17)
One of the most dreaded actions that every Christian
must take part in is the confrontation of other Christians.
It is one of the most neglected aspects of being a Christian yet it is a
vital and necessary part of our lives.
It is not done in the spirit of lording it over another brother or sister
but it is done for two reasons:
1. To expose the false
2. To replace the false with truth
The times we live in calls for the confrontation aspect
of ministry to be done without reservation.
However, before a Christian confronts another Christian, they must be
sure of facts in evidence.
For example, if someone comes to you and says “I hear your friend has been
smoking pot.” I would not even act
on that because it is hearsay and you don’t know the source plus the person
bringing the gossip may have something against that person.
So you have two options:
1. Bring the accuser and the accused together privately
and discuss.
2. But if ye will
not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the LORD: and be sure your sin will
find you out. (Numbers 32:23)
You can wait because eventually their sin will be exposed and this way you can
be sure.
Then you have
the other aspect of confrontation and that is the confronting of false
teachings. We live in a time when
false teachings have increased and have overtaken true teachings.
Beloved, when I gave all
diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to
write unto you, and exhort you
that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the
saints. (Jude 3) In Jude 3, we
read that we are to “earnestly contend for the faith” which means false
teachings must be confronted and exposed no matter who has spoken it.
“That ye should earnestly contend” is one word in the Greek and carries
with it the meaning of
"fight, strive, struggle."
It is also a verb which means you take action and not just sit there and
shake your head.
If someone comes into the church and starts proclaiming that God still speaks to
his people in dreams and that is not confronted and exposed as heresy, then
others will start believing it.
Every time someone has a dream in the church, they will believe it is some type
of mysterious message from God and they will proclaim it as some type of
prophecy. The time to confront
false teachings is the moment they are introduced because if you wait, a false
teaching will mushroom since most false teachings fall under the umbrella of
telling people what they want to hear.
As with every
aspect of true Christian ministry, we must turn to the Bible to gain our
understanding of whatever we are seeking to learn.
Confrontation is not something only church leaders do but it is the
responsibility of every Christian.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are
spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering
thyself, lest thou also be tempted. (Galatians 6:1)
The word “restore” in the Greek is in the Imperative
Mood which makes it a command. If a
Christians knows the Bible very well and sees another Christian going down the
wrong path and does nothing, they are helping that Christian on the path of
destruction. It may be their
testimony will be ruined or it may be their life may be ruined by them doing
something which can have dire consequences.
No matter what, if we have definite proof that a fellow believer is doing
something erroneous, we are to help them by pointing out the consequences of
their actions.
Let me just say at this point that some Christians
refuse to be corrected because they are loaded with pride and will not accept
any correction, no matter how gently you bring your concerns.
If you pull them over to the side and explain your concern about what
they might be heading for and they rebuke you with an arrogant attitude, then
leave them alone, you have done your job.
You cannot live their life for them.
They will have to go through the consequences that the Lord may bring
upon them in forcing their obedience.
For example you
might know a Christian who smokes cigarettes and you go to them with your
concerns and they rebuke you by saying “where does it say in the Bible thou
shalt not smoke?” In the next
few days, they go into an uncontrollable cough and start spitting up blood.
Then there is the Christian you go to who still thinks it is okay to
drink and their argument is “well Jesus turned the water into wine.”
Then the person starts noticing yellowing of their skin and they go to
their doctor and they find out they have cirrhosis of the liver.
The Lord will either speak to them through your words or He will speak to
them through consequences of their actions in which they have no one to blame
but themselves.
A basic
precedent for going to someone with concerns is found extensively in the Old
Testament when God sent prophets to both Judah and Israel to warn them if they
did not give up their whoring after false religions and their idols, that they
would suffer dire consequences which they eventually did because they murdered
their own prophets thinking that nothing could happen to them since they were
God’s people. That concept was
proven erroneous when the northern ten tribes were taken by Assyria in 721 B.C.
and never heard from again. Then in
70 A.D. the tribes of Judah and Benjamin were destroyed by Rome never to be
heard from again. The Jews refused
to listen and God judged them for it.
Over a million were killed in Judah and the rest taken to Rome to be sold
as slaves. The temple along with
all its records was burned to the ground.
Titus tried to save the temple but not because he was a believer but he
wanted to turn the temple into a temple for Jupiter who was the Roman god of sky
and thunder and was the chief deity for Rome.
Christians fall
into the same category in that many believe that God will not take any kind of
action against them but they are totally wrong because even though they are
saved, the sin nature still exists in the flesh and has to be dealt with.
Now let us turn to the Scriptures and see how much a part of the
Christian life confrontation is.
What is the Focus of Confrontation?
Jesus answered him, If I have spoken evil, bear witness
of the evil: but if well, why smitest thou me? (John 18:23)
Jesus gives us the greatest example of the focus of
confrontation. He was before Annas
who was father-in-law to Caiaphas the High Priest.
Jesus was questioned about his teachings and doctrine and told Annas that
he should speak to those who heard him since they knew what he said.
At that point one of the court officers struck Jesus and the response
that Jesus gave him is the root reason for confrontation.
He said “If I have spoken evil, then bear witness to the evil...”
That is the reason we confront.
Not to attack the person or put them down but to bear witness of the
activities they are partaking in or the false teachings they may have come to
believe and adopt and maybe without realizing they may be sinning or hurting
themselves physically or their testimony.
Their actions may also be affecting those with whom they come in contact
with and need to be expunged from their life.
We then take the person aside and show them where their actions are
affecting them and others. We don’t
attack them but we attack the error they are holding onto for the purpose of
seeing them freed. Another key is
that you do not present your case as your opinion but show them according to the
Scriptures where they are in error.
Remember what we read in Galatians 6:1 that restoration of the believer is a
command and not an option. Why?
Because the sinful actions of one can infect an entire congregation.
Biblical
Confrontations
Let us now turn to the Scriptures and see some of the
confrontations which have taken place and show us that confrontation is part of
the Christian life.
Peter and
Paul
But when Peter was come to Antioch, I withstood him to
the face, because he was to be blamed. (Galatians 2:11)
Here we have two giants of the faith in opposition to
each other at this moment. Peter
had allowed himself to be carried away by his situation.
He had no problem eating with the Gentiles but when Jews came he would
separate himself from the Gentile believers and join himself with the Jews.
It was situation ethics at its best.
Barnabas was also carried away with this action.
He probably saw Peter doing it, so he did it.
Paul then confronted Peter about his actions knowing that it was causing
division among the disciples and if that happened then there would be division
in the body of Christ.
There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is
neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in
Christ Jesus. (Galatians 3:28) The
word “withstood” in Galatians 2:11 means to “stand against, oppose, or resist.”
So the Apostle Paul stood against Peter in his hypocrisy.
Elijah and
Ahab
17 And it came to pass, when Ahab saw Elijah,
that Ahab said unto him, Art thou he that troubleth Israel? 18
And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house,
in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and thou hast followed
Baalim. (1 Kings 18:17-18)
Here Elijah confronts evil King Ahab in that he has
troubled Israel, the northern kingdom, by means of forsaking the LORD’s
commandments and following the false god Baal.
Right after this confrontation came the great challenge on Mount Carmel
where it was Elijah who stood alone against the 450 false prophets of Baal.
The story ends up with the prophets of Baal being defeated and the true
God was shown to be the victor.
Elijah confronted Ahab and was shown to be victorious since he did not fear to
confront and then back up his indictment against Ahab owing to his trust in the
LORD.
Jesus and the
Pharisees and Scribes
Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for
doctrines the commandments of men. (Mark 7:7)
The Pharisees and Scribes had accused the disciples of
Jesus of eating without ceremonially washing their hands according to the
tradition of the elders. Jesus
quotes from Isaiah:
Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as
this people draw near me with
their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far
from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men: (Isaiah
29:13) The Jewish leaders were
equating the tradition of the elders with the doctrines taught in the
Scriptures. Jesus confronted them
for this because no tradition or man-made teaching is equal to the Scriptures.
The modern church is loaded with man-made teachings which are being
taught as biblical doctrine such as the pre-trib rapture, modern tongues, modern
signs and wonders, prosperity gospel, etc. which have to be confronted because
they are teaching these man-made teachings as biblical doctrine.
This one episode of Jesus confronting the Pharisees and Scribes is
repeated many times in the Bible but I wanted to include this one because it is
apropos to today’s theological situation both in the church and individual
Christians where man’s teachings are forced on the Bible and then taught as
biblical doctrine.
You and
another Christian
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee,
go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall
hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (Matthew 18:15)
We have seen three examples of confrontation in the
Bible which is proper for both believers and unbelievers.
Now we come to a verse which contains two commands.
The words “go” and “tell” are in the Imperative Mood in the Greek which
means they are commands.
There is going to come a time or times in the life of a believer that someone is
going to trespass against us and how we handle it also reveals our spiritual
condition. When someone commits a trespass against us, we are not to allow
things to fester but we are to go to our brother privately and speak to them
about their trespass.
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such
an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted
(Galatians 6:1). We are to approach them with the mindset
that their fault can become our fault if we do not watch it. We are to go to
them and point out what they did wrong in meekness and not arrogantly. If they
see the error of their way, then they will confess that they did wrongly and the
relationship between the two brethren can be restored and the breach in the body
of Christ will be fixed. If a disagreement is not fixed on this level, it can
actually mushroom into a church split because sides will be drawn and otherwise
innocent parties will be brought into the dispute and that will create a large
rift in the body at that location and has the ability to spread beyond one
location. That is why it is important to try and work out things on this level.
This verse is
not only applicable to the personal but also to the general application.
If a Christian is involved in some type of ungodly or erroneous activity
which could affect others, then the idea of approaching them privately is not
for the purpose of lording it over them but the key issue is redemptive in that
your goal is to return them to obedience to the word of God and avoiding any
dire consequence of their actions.
In
Galatians 6:1 we are commanded to restore the believer
and here in Matthew 18:15, we are commanded to go and tell the erring believer
of their actions. The word “tell”
in the Greek carries with it the definition of “reprove or refute.”
So we are to confront erring Christians on possibly disastrous roads they
are on informing them that their actions will negatively affect them and others
who will be watching them.
Christians are to be vigilant in both the private and public arenas.
We are to keep our spiritual ears open for anything which goes against
the true word of God.
Summary
As we have seen from the Bible that confrontation is a part of the Christian life. It is not an option but a command. If you look at all the martyrs in the middle ages which confronted the false teachings of Roman Catholicism and gave their lives for it you would have thousands of examples of confrontation. I have personally confronted elders and pastors of churches I was expelled from for telling the truth. Confrontation is not an easy ministry but it must be done since it is a command and not an option. When you confront another Christian, you are also confronting on behalf of others who will be listening or following the erring Christian and it may save them some heartaches later on. Keep in mind that their response to your efforts is their responsibility. If they accept what you say, then you have helped another brother or sister to return to the right way. If they reject what you say, then they will reap the consequences of their actions but never approach a confrontational situation with an angry or furious mindset or else you will have lost before you even get started and their defenses will be ready for you. No one said it is going to be easy but it is necessary.