Does God Really Exist? The agony of Teresa
By Bruce Johnston and Brigid Delaney
November 30 2002
Mother Teresa, put on the fast-track to sainthood by the Pope after her death
five years ago, was tormented by a crisis of belief for 50 years, her writings
reveal.
The
previously unpublished material is to be brought out as a volume in Italy. It
was collected by Roman Catholic authorities in Calcutta after her death, aged
87.
Mother Teresa said in another letter: "The damned of hell suffer eternal
punishment because they experiment with the loss of God. In my own soul, I feel
the terrible pain of this loss. I feel that God does not want me, that God is
not God and that he does not really exist."
Rome's daily newspaper Il Messeggero said: "The real Mother Teresa was
one who for one year had visions and who for the next 50 had doubts - until her
death." Her years of doubt
coincided with the period when, after the visions, she decided to leave her
teaching post at a privileged Calcutta school to help India's poor.
After
her death, the Pope waived the Vatican rule that prohibits investigation of the
cause for beatification until five years after the subject's death.
Australian church leaders say Mother Teresa's period of doubt only
strengthens the case for her beatification.
Francesco Canalini, the Pope's representative in Australia, said: "Many saints
throughout history had times of trouble. The message from God is that many holy
people have had to face difficulties, but they have fought them despite the
darkness."
Sydney Columban priest Cyril Hally describes Mother Teresa's doubts as the "dark
night of the soul". "It is a purification process. Doubt is part of the growth
of holiness," he said, adding that it is also a part of sainthood.
Il
Segreto di Madre Teresa (Mother
Teresa's Secret) will be published in December.